My husband and were standing in line next to two women at a local chicken joint last week. One of the women enthusiastically complimented my fro-hawk. The other looked at my curls real hard and ask what I do to make it curl like that. I felt my lungs fill up with frustration and sadness. I was offended because I don’t think this sistah would’ve asked me that if my skin was lighter. People seem to believe that dark-skinned women (and men) can’t have “good” hair. My hair is supposed to be nappy, woolly, kinky or whatever, right? Wrong! But here’s the killer. Only black women come at me like that.
I wanted to snap at her but instead I told her what I used that day. She needs to learn just like I did that black girl magic is more than what we’ve been taught about ourselves. She too can make her natural curl pattern more defined if she stops buying the lye that have been told to us. For example, black people should avoid water in our hair unless it’s wash day. That’s a myth! If you want soft, bouncy, shiny, natural curls, you just need to add water. LOTS OF WATER. Don’t take my word. Search the Web for the Curly. Girl Method, the Anthony Dickey Method or Max Hydration. Water is the not so secret but most important ingredient. It’s true. I don’t co-wash my hair everyday but I do wet it before styling. It’s always soaking wet when I detangle.
I wish I could’ve shared this with the woman at the chicken joint. She caught me off guard by assuming I do something special to my hair. I have to start carrying business cards for the blog. I want to help people learn that chocolate people have beautiful curls just like light skinned people.
Below are some pictures of my hair at various stages of my styling routine, along with the products:
This is my hair after its been co-washed with Tresemme Botanique Conditioner twice. I didn’t rinse it all out and used it as my leave-in too. Then I went to the barber and got chopped up. I could’ve left it like this but then this post would be boring. The curls are frizzy but still defined. It looks like I used a sponge brush on it.
This is my hair wet. Since I washed it in the morning, I just stuck my head under the shower. I only dry with a microfiber towel now. Get them in bulk at the auto store. The curls are just frizzy, not cute like above. The curl pattern is not very defined.
The KCCC is the bomb. I only use it on special occasions because of the price. My favorite alternative is Ecostyler with Aragan Oil (red). I’ve bought that at the grocery store so it’s very accessible.
Thanks for sticking around to the end. It’s time to get ready for work. I’d love to hear some of your experiences being a dark, light, or white Curl Friend. What assumptions do people make about your curls that upset you? Feel free to share in the comments section.